Field Manual for Silicon Valley

How to Make Sure Your Hot New Girlfriend Isn't Working for Beijing

A field-tested framework for engineers who are great at code and terrible at counterintelligence. Part satire, part survival guide, painfully real.

Download the Field Manuals

Everything from first-date interrogation to long-term relationship stress tests. Written for people who build systems.

Vol. 1

Obviously
a Spy

The Silicon Valley
Dating Survival Guide
$9.99

Obviously a Spy: The Complete Guide

16 field-tested relationship tests, the Xi Jinping Camera Framework, and the Ten-Question Audit that's already saved three marriages and ended two.

Download PDF
Vol. 2

The Bedroom
Backchannel

Pillow Talk as
Attack Vector
$14.99

The Bedroom Backchannel

Deep dive into how state intelligence services weaponize intimacy. Real FBI case studies, tradecraft patterns, and the psychology of long-term HUMINT operations.

Download PDF
Free

The First
Date Checklist

5 Questions
That Change Everything
FREE

The First Date Checklist

The five casual questions that separate normal people from operatives. Printable. Pocket-sized. Designed to look like a cocktail menu so nobody gets suspicious.

Free Download

Personal OPSEC for Tech Professionals

The complete counterintelligence framework for people who have access to things Beijing wants. 8 modules. Real case studies. Interactive exercises.

πŸ“š
8 Modules
⏱
6.5 Hours
πŸ“‹
12 Quizzes
πŸ“„
Certificate
$299
$149
Launch price β€” 50% off
Enroll Now
30-day money-back guarantee
01

The Threat Landscape

Why the FBI calls China the #1 economic espionage threat and what that means for your dating life
42 min
02

HUMINT 101: How Intelligence Recruitment Actually Works

From Thousand Talents to LinkedIn DMs β€” the full pipeline from target identification to asset recruitment
58 min
03

The Bedroom Backchannel

How intimacy becomes an intelligence vector. Real case studies from FBI prosecutions
51 min
04

First Date Interrogation Framework

The 5 casual questions, the Mom Test, the Xiaohongshu Test, and the LinkedIn Archaeology method
45 min
05

Relationship Stress Tests

The Unlocked Laptop Trap, the USB Drop, the Fake Promotion, and 13 more field-proven tests
63 min
06

The Xi Jinping Camera Test

Why freedom is the ultimate loyalty check and how to run it without being an asshole
38 min
07

Digital OPSEC for Relationships

Shared devices, photo libraries, cloud accounts, and the attack surface of domestic life
47 min
08

When It's Real: Reporting and Recovery

How to contact the FBI, what to expect, legal protections, and rebuilding after compromise
44 min

Take the Quiz

Three quizzes. Getting progressively more uncomfortable. All grounded in real counterintelligence frameworks.

What People Are Saying

β˜…β˜…β˜…β˜…β˜…

"I ran the USB Drop test. She asked me why I had a file called 'Donkey Sauce β€” RESTRICTED DISTRIBUTION' and told me to clean up my desk. We're getting married in June."

Mike T.
Senior Engineer, NVIDIA
β˜…β˜…β˜…β˜…β˜…

"The Xiaohongshu Test is genius. My girlfriend showed me her 2,000 saved posts about lip gloss. She is definitely not a spy. She is, however, spending all my money on lip gloss."

James L.
PM, Google DeepMind
β˜…β˜…β˜…β˜…β˜†

"Bought this as a joke. Ran the Ten-Question Audit. Failed on three questions. Hired a lawyer. Book paid for itself approximately infinity times over."

Anonymous
Principal Engineer, [REDACTED]
β˜…β˜…β˜…β˜…β˜…

"I'm Chinese-American and I bought this for my white boyfriend so he'd stop being weird about it. Now he's just weird about Guy Fieri. Marginal improvement."

Sarah C.
Staff Engineer, Meta
β˜…β˜…β˜…β˜…β˜…

"I sent this to my entire portfolio. Half of them thanked me, the other half ghosted me. Which is itself a data point."

A VC
Sand Hill Road
β˜…β˜…β˜…β˜…β˜…

"My wife asked why I was leaving a laptop open with a fake PowerPoint. I said 'counterintelligence.' She said 'you work in accounts payable.' Fair point."

David R.
Accounts Payable, Oracle

The Serious Part

99.9% of Chinese and Chinese-American women in Silicon Valley are exactly what they appear to be: engineers, doctors, founders, designers, moms, and humans living normal lives. Silicon Valley has one of the highest concentrations of Asian and Asian-American professionals in the world. People date and marry within their professional circles. That's demographics, not a conspiracy.


The espionage threat documented by the FBI, CSIS, and intelligence agencies is real but targeted β€” specific state-sponsored operations, not proof that your coworker's wife is an MSS asset. This site exists because the threat is real enough to take seriously and absurd enough to laugh about. Both things can be true.


If you genuinely suspect intelligence activity, contact the FBI's counterintelligence division. Don't interrogate your girlfriend with a USB full of Guy Fieri recipes. But also, honestly, maybe don't leave your laptop unlocked. That's just basic hygiene.